What is it called?

No one ever died of a nose pin in a wallet

“Where is the card?” My father asked. He had been out of town for a month and in his absence the local senior citizen’s club had delivered a birthday card for him. “Should be on your bedside table/drawer” I mumbled. It wasn’t. At dinner three people bursting with laughter told me, It was found in the freezer. A proud stiff card standing in the freezer right next to the packets of chicken.

I live a fabulous life, full of unexpected treasures and surprises. I have my brain to thank. You sneaky little thing. Unknown to me, it plots, plans, and plants little errors today that lead to quaint surprises in the future. I tell her I need a method, but she insists on madness. We look at my desktop, shudder, and laugh.

There are people in this world with delightful D drives. Their folders are named well and nested like Inception. Even the pictures on their phones are sorted. Ask them for their Aadhar card, and they don’t send you their cat or book trains for the wrong date. Their desktops are minimal. Here I am accidentally sending a photocopy of an old National Savings Certificate along with a book in a courier someone asked me to do. There are little surprises for me every day. Like, “Oh, how did this sock get here…and where is the pair?” Visit me three times a month, and the bed and my tables will likely be in a different spot each time—everything is always rearranged. Truth be told, it is only occasionally exhausting for me.

When I’m ready to work on an essay, I face more hoops to jump through. My computer is full of generically named or misnamed documents: doc 1.docx, drafts.docx, doc 1 (1).docx, rsfinalish.docx, pic 2.docx, notes.docx, draft.docx, untitled.docx, read in peace.docx, notes.docx, Spd Wr.docx.

The thing is, when I’m holding an interesting idea in my head, I’m aware that I have limited upper body strength—so, I’m also, in parallel, looking for a surface to place it on. Much like how I feel holding my friend’s wriggly, wiggly, joyous babies. If I’m lucky, that place for the thought is a Word document/Google doc/Notion page. I think some thoughts, type in a paragraph, and voila, 30 minutes have passed, and it is time for some call or meeting or for me to leave the desk. I hurriedly close the doc and use the default names offered up or misspell some of my own. No, I have never placed her babies on the kitchen slab.

There is also another category of drafts. On the odd day that I sit with the intent to write something fresh, I start mindfully and name the document based on what I’m going to write in it. I now know that my brain takes this as a signal and nods—challenge accepted. I type the first line of my masterpiece, and my brain cells do a jig and laugh. How dare we follow a plan? she says, and I follow. So, that leaves me with documents with titles like “Growing into Middle Age with Begum,” and the paragraph in it is about celebrating 15-plus years of freedom from tweezers and threading! Another, titled “Four Legs in Bir,” speaks of dating post-divorce. Here’s the thing: I always have an interesting draft or an idea in either case. So really, brain—no complaints.

I’ve lived 44 years with these noodly strands pulling me in every direction. Life stays interesting, and I’ve never lost anything significant. I even enjoy organizing—the timers, the boxes, the labels. Two weeks after a big clean-up, I find a pin in my earring tray, mosquito repellent with my sunscreen, and a nose pin in my wallet!

I’ve come to realise, as much as I crave structure and rhythm, what I’m really going for is that I serve this beauty of a brain well. We have come so far and done fairly well for ourselves. I am slowly learning to let go of expectations of structures and recognise internal patterns and serve the ones that serve me. If they don’t serve me – the patterns – they are still welcome to stay as long as they need. We will nudge each other, the brain and I and expand and withdraw. As you read this, I hope you too laugh stretch and shed off the annoyance with the silly things you do and pesky glitches! Theek hai- No one ever died of a nose pin found in a wallet or a birthday card in the freezer.

While looking for another essay I had started, I opened this one. How could I not- the file name was - “What is it called?” “Uska naam kya hai” is a phrase I regularly utter when I’m trying to recall what is it that I was looking for on my computer, phone, the world wide web. The draft had everything but a reference to this! So ..see little treasures and laughs. I plant them for myself somewhere and trip on something months later to discover it and laugh. You’ve got me brain. Thank you.

Chalo, tata, I need to go for a movie in a bit.

Ek minute—maybe I should check the date on the ticket first!

P.S.- Tell me if you have a story about how your mind delights you. I’d love to read it.